Lather, Print, Repeat

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via: youtube

This post will be short.

Amazon are at my door with ink cartridges.

Apparently, I print so much black and white, I’m out of cyan.

 

via Daily Prompt: Typical

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Unexpected Bagging In Life Area

fetus

If the empty Waitrose cup’s 18 grams is just too much for the bagging area to handle, and according to Alejandro González Iñárritu, your soul weighs 21 grams, at what point is one considered to have “excess baggage”?

If the 80’s are in again, does that mean cringing is acceptable?

chickenhat

I’ve decided to write a book on bravery in the chicken pen.

Mr Cluck Doesn’t Give A Fuck.

If you feel it infringes on animal rights, you’ll probably want additional ammo with which to load your hate gun.

Which I can take.

And you can suck.

I’ve already written cages and cages.

 

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/strut/”>Strut</a&gt;

Auto correct. Because no-one needs to see my 1986-gnarled, arthritic hands.

granny

Rocking my Generation X moniker one smartphone swipe at a time, and you motherfucking clowns tell me there’s already a Generation Z?

What are they gonna do, kit the cloud out in memory foam?

I’ll have you know we rode the new-gen dick just fine, back in my day.

The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round

keyboard-rage.gif

GCSE history asked me, “Do revolutions come full circle?”.

It took longer for my dying hardware‘s endless revolving tabs to complete typing that than it did to fill out four A4 pages of essay. Castro had fidelity built into his namesake. By all means, polish the fuck out of your latest UI. I’ve restarted to upgrade and then some and while it’s really nice you now tell me it will once again be cloudy with a chance of rain, please don’t call your product ‘revolutionary’.

I’m not in the business of recreating history, but I got tabs here competing with the Kuomintang March. If you need your smartphone to work that one out- however long Google Maps estimates for a kilometre. Multiplied by 9,000.

Twitter is dying. Mao killed the birds. If only I weren’t too chicken to do a powerwash.

Also, that should totally come with a scent. Like orange blossom. Or, you know, new laptop smell.